introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ode to sinead 07:15:21 - 2000-09-09 i think sinead put it best, this is the last day of our aquaintance... and you know, you're not the only one with friends around the county, you're not the only one, and i've got second sight, a good case of it tonight.... its the silences between breaths, its the look like i'm to be apeased, and last year, we stayed until dawn, and i still have that leaf that matched the slide into the big pile of leaves, and when we got sheetz because mcdonalds just wouldn't do the trick, when we got the sheetz because it was safer than sleeping food for the crows, those zombie kids, and she says she loves him, but she loves him, instead, and i'm nothing more than the instrument... through me, him, through my window, the last day of our aquaintance, by a few 365 days, give or take 11.... there was a time when sunrise was at the top of the list, and when finding words was the simplest thing, when apologizing wasn't the hardest thing on the list, when smoking a cigarette was the hardest thing in the world, when leaves were autumn that I didnt invent.... and I can't stop playing this song... its just like you've died, but in reality, you've slain me.... isn't reality stronger than blood? isn't blood thinner than friendship? so i'm the one dying here and you're living my living, or is that the jealousy I spoke of with him, crying in the passenger seat, screaming to all that could hear, begging reprieve from this torture, and you've slain me and my emotions deaden, i am the eternal bitch, i am the the holy provider, and i have provided as I was asked to do, at any price, be it five or seven, or three for ten, i have spoke and it is decidedly so, like one of those eight balls, it is decidedly so, but you gave me that silent ask again later that I managed to pick up, so when was it going to come? you've got friends throughout the counties, but I've got second sight and in a place I've never been, a boy is sleeping, or perhaps still awake and i hope you cross his mind and I hope he is as you, and has already destroyed the blue prints for a future. the thing here is that i am not the ruler of the universe, and i can't even control the racing clouds, but had it been as i had said, this animosity between comrades.... and comrades...and... what else were we? It was supposed to be you and me through thick and thin, but nacho cheese is as easily made, a two minute wait and and open window.... a year ago, i mistrusted, ever a skeptic but you made me trust, ever leary of strangers, but you made me believe, but it has all been a great farce, I suppose... there was sickness from the beginning... with your Hey Judes and your Neil says Hi, by the ways, you dooped me into this sense of same plane thinking, into this sense of familiarity, which, its true, by the way, familiarity does breed contempt... but you've stolen the very thing I was most willing to give: my trust.... and I can't stop listening to this song.... I think sinead put it best: this is the last day of our aquaintance. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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