introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- push 01:52:17 - 2000-09-21 Wow. Its late and I've got a 9:15am ceramics class. I'm listening to some Janis Ian for my relaxing pleasure. I actually went to the Wal-Mart again tonight. Eek. Anyway, I guess things are getting better since I last wrote. Everything can be so turbulent and then, calm down to something so placid sometimes, can't it? It's amazing how things always sort themselves out. In the end, all of that anger left with my hair and though I'm stubbly headed now, I'm feeling happier and more at peace with the way things are working out. Still, I can't help but feel the occasional twinge of angst...but then, who can help it? Damned pacifists. So there is this girl...a new one that has been around. Yes, yours truly has a DATE this weekend with a sweet little candy kid that is adorable. Granted, this might not be anything to serious, but I invite you all to hope for me. Oh...and I wanted to pass along a thought I heard in my neo-paganism class today. One of the rules governing the wiccan religion is the Rule of Three. This means that every bit of energy you give off comes back to you threefold. This makes me want to consider all of my actions in a more responsible light. Not only does negative anger waste too much energy that we already have, its bound to come back to us. Be good to each other. And now, some new poetry I wrote when I got bored in philosophy. PUSH there was a guy standing on the other side of the glass door at the caf, he was standing with his bookbag back to me, and I didn't want to knock him over, but I didn't want to stay inside anymore and I got impatient, so I pushed. There were two girls stopped talking on the sidewalk, jabbering empty bubble thoughts about their weekends, their new orange sweaters and God knows what, that omnicient bastard. And me and Theo, we couldnt get by cuz the sidewalk was narrow and I was running late for Eric Rubenstein and his philosophy, all chocolate cake and hot oil, and I had a really good pace working out so before I stopped I made a decision and I pushed. There is a girl on teh couch sitting too close to a boy that she doesn't belong to, and he's sickening sweet snuggly while she is distant and torn and Harold's faking suicide while Maude makes oat straw tea and Scott snores someplace in another room, and I'm trying to keep it silent and make some laughter come, even when its stubborn and you know me, when the laughter dried up into sobbing heaves, I pushed. I just pushed. Finally, I've pushed enough. Finally, some serenity. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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