introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Round Robin 1:25pm, Wednesday - 28 February 2001 i was walking back from a rather discouraging meeting with a lady about taking notes for bells, today. here, i was thinking that this might be a good source of spending money...but with her attendance habits, it doesn't look like i stand to make too much in the way of clams. yes, i was walking back and i saw the most lovely thing a person walking in the bitter cold can see on a sunny february frigid afternoon: birds. Not just any birds, but robins. Maybe spring is coming sooner than it seemed. Anyway, I've got a little bit of time before I've got to meet der kommisar rubenstein, so here's some freestyle to put your minds at rest. be well, my birdie friends. ~Round Robin~ i dont think my heart had quite recovered from the goings on and the things you were saying. i don't think that my spirits felt much like getting out of bed today, but nacho's crying and jess has things to print, and there just isnt any sleeping through the grinding of the gears in my printer. i don't think my head had quite lost all of the pressure, i don't think my body stopped shaking, but i showered and dressed and headed out, the sun was so bright, bright like sunday when moods were lighter, bright like grunewald's ressurection depiction, but i left my sunglasses at marie's, i can picture them there, on the thin, high windowsill... and to think she was at my house yesterday with that new jet black scaredy cat puppy and she didn't remember to bring them with her, but i suppose we're all allowed to be absent minded. so instead, i put aside my irritation because i've got more on my mind than meets the eye and the day was blustery like a winnie the pooh picture, the day was windy and i could see the chill in the clouds, you know the ones that go racing across that pale blue sky like they've got places they'd rather be, like they've got sights they've got to see... and i passed by liz and arranged for a ride, gonna get out of this town before my skull cracks from the pressure; skull cracks are hard to repair. and i went and i sat through a dry meeting in an small cubicle of an office with a girl in a purple sweater who did little to entertain and still further less to explain what was expected of me. but i'll get that form in, yes, i'll do that tomorrow... they say that making plans is a sign that there is a reason to wake up, so i'm trying not to make any more empty plans... and so i took her pamphlets and papers, took one last look at the backstreet boys poster she'd masking taped on the one bare wall of her shared office and wondered if she knew that the backstreet boys were lame and that everyone knows that NSYNC is the boy band of champions. And then, I headed back out into the cold and didn't give her much of a second thought, empty faces, empty heads, even on bright days like this, there sure is a lot of grey. And I was skimming the paper and chuckling to myself about how when i'm a famous poet, i won't be attending any conventions in florida like Haider Ali Hussien Mullick, who was invited personally by Florence Henderson... no, there will be none of that for me, even if it does mean I'm poet of the year; and i mused over how silly the world is to put articles like that on the front page when there are people who are freezing in the sun, squinting without sunglasses, with no place to be for a half hour. but for some reason, i looked up and there they were: the most splendid creatures on two legs that i've seen since late september. all red breasted and digging in the frozen ground for frozen worms and once i got over the thought that maybe just maybe, birds don't particularly enjoy frozen worms followed by a follow up thought which questioned as to whether the worms were a little bit more fresh in this manner than they might be in june and when i stopped smiling thinking of worms on sticks and tweets between them of wormsicles, i was able to remember to turn around thrice, and wish for something selfless, because thats the going superstition when it comes to robins in spring. Turning and turning like an idiot on the walk, probably a spectacle to the three or four more civilized beings that were walking by, but as i turned, i felt my spirits spiral up, felt the pressure lessen, felt the weight in my throat life just a little. and maybe sunnier days and warmer weather aren't exactly therapy and anti depressants, but they sure as hell do something for hope. i get the feeling that someone knew, and rather than sending me springs first robin, i saw springs first flock of the redbreasted birds... and i turned around thrice and walked on, feeling a little bit glad that I'd gotten out of bed to begin with. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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