introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K
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in the beginning. sleepy down - 23rd of september, 2003
"i need a phone call. i need a plane ride. i need a sun burn. i need a rain coat."~counting crows
that first week when you came back from your trip was like the beginning. i missed you and our phone calls were limited and sparse. there wasn't much to say but there was a lot that seemed like it could change...for the better.
it was a week. exactly a week.
but now you're back to your video games until its long past time to go to bed. you're back to your beers as soon as you're in the door. you're back to not seeming to want me anymore.
i don't get that, by the way.
i don't understand the wanting me and wanting me when you're gone. do i become that mundane when i sleep by your side multiple nights in a row?
and so we talk with tones at each other rather than to each other. i entertain myself with paying the bills and making your dinner and setting your alarm clock. i entertain myself with yoga classes and water aerobics and crocheting infinite lengths of softness.
i go to work and i work with passion. it seems like that is the passion that is taking over my life. i want to learn every skill there is to learn. i want to learn the terminology and the processes and the game. i want to learn to grow up a little.
there is this overcoming need to explore and i want to meet people to explore with while you sit in your chair and hit your buttons....while you let your life's hours pass you by and miss all of this wonder sitting just feet away from you, wondering why you don't know it.
i know that its not that you don't love me. i know that you need to unwind on your own terms. i just wish all of our hours weren't waiting for you to unwind.
anyway.
i had to say that.
because....
i wish all of the weeks could be like your first week back. because its more like the beginning. when things were so perfect.
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.what came before. - .what happened next.
a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017
baseball season to football season, abbreviated - 25 september 2017
the doodles - 11 july 2017
at arm's length - 4 july 2017
like a sea-mammal needs a bicycle - 30 may 2017
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