introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the art of leg shaving 4:15 - twenty seventh of april, 2001-just out of the shower "did i shave my legs for this?"~deanna carter so i have to work in a bit but i'm kickin' it back with a double entry day. i just got out of the shower. it was one of those long showers where the only reason you get out is because your skin is shriveling up with hydration like a prune of sorts. it was one of those showers where you think entirely too much and you sing along with the music you put on a little bit but it sort of phases out when you start with the thinking. i started with the thinking. today, i broke into the razor that i'd bought from the devil on tuesday when i was out towards the hell-mouth that is wal-mart with mikey. it glistens a jeweled green and only cost me a dollar seventy eight. now this is not to suggest that i haven't had a razor for all of the time before tuesday, because i have. and, every morning, that old schick pink razor with its moisturizing strip that hung from the plastic loop that was suction cupped to the shower wall stared at me when i'd get into the shower, its double blade smiling a sharp grin, taunting me. i am razor-shy. today, i broke into a new razor that glistens emerald green. it, too, has a moisture strip in a matching green across the top of it. i'm glad that the folks at these places are concerned for the moisture level of my legs. i'm glad that someone is looking out for my legs besides me. and while i stood there under that hot water this afternoon, i held that glistening green razor in my hand and for the first time since october, i made friends with the blade. i lathered up the sweet smelling rain scented soap and drew the razor along the thickness that is my leg; drew the emerald glowing plastic handle along the bumps and turns of flesh. i dont know why i have such an issue with the socially enforced thing that is leg-shaving. maybe i cut myself one too many times. maybe i can't stand the time it takes to make sure that my legs are soft like a baby's ass (although i do admit to enjoying the smoothness when i take the time to do it). as i rinsed away the soap and the hair (that hadn't really gotten long or thick and was actually not even THERE in some places where my constant pant-wearing had rubbed it bare already), i felt new again. i felt as though i were embracing something feminine and girly that i'd forsaken for months, for months of solitude. who, after all, would know the difference if my legs were soft and smooth or stubbly with hair? and i suppose that, even now that there seems to be a break in the overcast sky that is lonliness, i don't really have any need to shave. i took the snide schick pink razor and put it aside, replacing it with the new green one that came with the extra refills of blades in its place. i finished my shower, enjoying the scents of shampoos and soaps. the room was steamy and i watched as the moisture poured out the open bathroom window. i towel dried and slathered banana boat after sun, my moisturizer of choice as of late onto my new soft limbs, taking the time to rub the lotion deep into the thickness of my flesh. it is relaxing, sometimes, to take the time to spend with yourself. and as abhorent as my legs sometimes are to me, i didn't mind them today. i didn't mind taking the time to really look at them...to look at the build of my muscles under the taught fleshy skin, to enjoy the curve of the back of my knee, to notice the translucentness of my skin. and now, for some unpolitically correct reason, i feel more beautiful than i did just a few hours ago. i feel clean and smooth and soft and although overly supple, i feel touchable again. i like the feeling. i had to share. be well, cats. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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