introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this time next week two p.m. - twenty seventh of april, 2001-show me the window- so its another gorgeous day. this morning was reminicient of last summer: the gorgeous sunshine all day and the rain that came late at night to bathe and cool the trees that were just reaching up to the sky, their leaves turning over, for a drink of cool fresh rain. my sleep was disturbed with the movement of a puppy who seemed to be having dreams as vivid as my own. she sometimes cries in her sleep or runs in her sleep. i like to watch her. i wonder if my dog watches me sleep. i think she probably does. some mornings, she is awake before i am and curls up next to me for a while, nudging me with her cool wet nose til i wake, too, to cuddle with her and scratch her belly and behind her ears. these are my favourite moments with my dog..the quiet understanding ones. so she was dreaming and i was dreaming and i didn't mind being startled from sleep because i like to look at the phases of morning. i pull the slats of the blind down and peek out through the branches of the dogwood outside my window, past the flowers that are blooming so brightly to see if its raining or sunny; to see if i should roll over or bother to get up. this morning, seeing the rain and hearing the nine o'clock traffic rushing through the puddles in the street, i rolled over. i don't know how i got to be so physically beat last night. the new project i'm on is worse than a three hour essay exam. i don't mind. i like it. its just that...well...i type faster than i write things out by hand and this study makes me write things out. and, since i'm never sure when the person i'm speaking with is going to completely change their wording, i have to take notes and change the verbatim answers on scratch paper before i put it on the official document looking paper. so, although i only completed two interviews last night, it took me four hours. the study is about assisted senior living and in a sense, it rates up there in my book with the MS study. these people have more concerns on their mind and i know its a lot to ask them to dwell on how their loved ones are being treated. still, if the research helps make things better or easier, i'm glad to be a part of it. but when i came home after eleven last night, i was entirely tired. "gone out for a bit to see a band," it said. "be back around midnight, probably." how can i really go to bed when i know that in a short hour or so, he will brighten my screen and make me happy, even in my sleepy state. so i putzed around with some things and read a little bit until he came home. knowing that he would indeed come home would have made it impossible for me to sleep. this is strange to me....but i like the oppertunity to tell him goodnight. so, as my mother is pointing out as i write this, its another day of glorious sunshine. brian is coming up tomorrow and we will probably go hiking up at Yellow Creek or someplace. I'm dying to get out into the woods for an entire sunny afternoon. I reallllly wanna see my dog swim. Anyway, thats really it...Be well cats. ~This Time Next Week~ its friday and this time next week, i'll be pickin' up the much needed paycheck and we'll be hitting the road, driving off on hot sunny pavement, driving south west into the oncoming sunset. and this time next week, we will laugh and sing along with songs, we will watch out the windows, we will talk, and i suppose, as is the case with us, the overemotional, there is a chance that we will cry. i will feel complete and i will feel happier than i've ever felt because best friends packed up in a silver family car is a rare-occasion splendour and best friends squashed in among luggage and maps and music makes for memories that i can never forget; memories that never dull like colour photos. and this time next week, we will roll through a few states and we'll be headed right towards you, the front of the car like a compass needle, forever seeking out out; you are natural north. and the sky will grow dark with night and the stars will be bright and some will find their way into my eyes like so many have these days... and we'll drive on in to a city i've never been and the landscape will be new, the accent foreign, the smells new and familiar. and this time next week, i'll finally hug you close, close like i have in my daydreams, close like i have in the visions that come to me at night. and i'll hear your voice and i'll say your name and i'll hear you say mine... and this time next week, the happieness you've brought me will multiply a thousand fold... the smiles that have been curling my lips will widen and spread and will be difficult to melt... and this time next week, the butterflies of nervousness will either swarm or dissipate for another season... and this time next week, it will all be more real than ever and i can't stop counting down days til next week. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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