introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- punch out - the overtime revolution - sixth of september, 2001 "#24: She is a blues singer. She goes to work and sings to herself. She goes home and sings to herself. She lives alone. She sings herself to sleep at night. No one knows. No one hears her sing. At her work the other employees avoid her. She works alone on the end of the line, no one ever hears her sing. She makes up songs about everything you can imagine. She wishes she was invisable. She says: They can't see me, they can't hurt me, they don't know me, they will never touch me, they will never burn me, there's not much to life." ~Hank from Black Flag-Black Coffee Blues i've been working a lot lately. i've got so much more to work for these days. i work a lot and i work hard and i come home and i take a shower and wash away the greasy grime of the day and i put the same clothes on that i wore yesterday after work because really, i only wore them for a few hours and really, they're not even dirty. (that, and lets be honest: i d e s p i s e laundry.) the only people i see on a regular basis these days are the people i work with and although they are nice, they don't seem to see things quite like i do; they don't see the rut, they don't see the emptiness, they don't see the redundence of the day. this is not to say that i am better than them because this is certainly not the case. many of them are much more kind than i will ever be and a few of them have more creativitiy than i will ever muster and some of them are just better people than i'll ever be. but lets face it. i am not cut out for this sort of work. i've been working a lot. hand me my glock: i want to shoot those customers in the face. violent? you should see the images in my head. i've been working a lot and when i said to T that i had come up with the perfect plan, i said it in my very best i'm-only-kidding-we-all-know-i-don't-think-these-violent-thoughts-and-take-them-seriously-voice. what? you don't think you have one of those? you do. i've been working a lot and when i told him that i wanted to bait them with beef and fried foods and pull them around to the window and shoot them in the face, i must've had a sick smile on my face. "the only trouble," i said,"is that there wouldn't be anyone to move the car so i could get to the next one." mad words...mad like lock me up or give me a day off. but sometimes, people piss me off. its...the little things. for instance- explain to me why these screwups think its okay and good to struggle to pry open the drive-thru window to put their money on the counter inside rather than wait patiently for me to come and get it comfortably from them? when done properly, the exchange of money for product is a rather painless thing: there is no struggle to hang out the car window. there is no battle with windows that are on springs to keep them closed. i mean...do they really think i'm going to be any nicer and faster now that i have their money and they've deliberately invaded my personal workspace? how would they feel if i crawled out and sat in their lap and counted their change back at them? instead, i leave their change in the same place as they left their money and say nothing. lets hear it for passive aggression. and what about these numbskulls that ask the dumb questions about how much things cost as they sit out there at the speaker that is installed in a fucking MENU board? look, if you can't take the time to read the prices lit up there in front of you, why should i take the time to tell you? why should i waste my breath? and the people that feel the need to announce to me how much change they should be getting back from that twenty dollar bill and handfull of coins. hello. i can do math. i am fully capeable of making change. and even if i weren't, the cash register tool the nice people i work for gave me does a fine job of it. and the parents with the whining kids who are brats and trash the dining area...and the people who want to give me their trash from the last place where they filled their face and, no doubt, irritated another girl just like me...and the jerkfaces who think that we don't have anything better to do than box up each condiment separately and give them a bag full of little boxes of lettuce and tomatoes and onions and fuck T H A T...and the tip top of all of them, my favourite assholes...the cell phone users. fuck, if i've get one more hand in my face-like he's either gonna pick my nose or poke out my eye-jerkoff who's telling me to wait while everyone behind him waits...and he gabs on the newest colourful model of cell phone to some other yumyum who's probably off fucking up traffic patterns, i'm gonna punch that powertie-suit-wearing-shave-and-a haircut asshole in the face. no. really. yeah. insert that i'm-only-kidding-we-all-know-i-don't-think-these-violent-thoughts-and-take-them-seriously-voice right here. ...cuz we all know that i've got reasons to be working there; we all know i've got these visions of a gorgeous little apartment with a gorgeous dog and a gorgeous boy and this gorgeous life that i'm sure will come if i can just hang on for a f e w more weeks.... and i know i don't use the word fuck too much when i write. and i don't usually call people jerkoffs all that often. so this time around, cut me some slack: i've been working a lot lately. i've been working overtime. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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