introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the devil, reversed cutting cords - 18 august 2o22 "you don't want to be my boyfriend and i don't want to be your girl. and that, thats a relief. we'll drink up our grief and pine for summer."~waxahatchee sometimes it helps to know that you are out there with the wooden beads around your wrist. you said you hadn't taken them off and sent a picture of your arm. i had long since slipped mine off after bringing your bike to your apartment that last time. we don't talk anymore. i send notes into the abyss to tell you hello. to tell you i'm thinking about you. i started calling you my dead friend steve but i know you aren't dead. i tell them how you died on labor day weekend and you ruined the holiday forever. i laugh because it is an inside joke with you even though you aren't there to show me those sparkling eyes, to let me know you know. i have been thinking about you a lot. did i hurt your feelings that time i wouldn't stay over? sometimes i think that must've been it. i've been thinking about how i need to release those wooden beads on the river where we met that first time. i'm letting it all go these days but not you. for you, i'm holding space and i don't even know why. i pulled your tarot card today. i miss your goddamned devil's smile. xo, ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a new leaf - 23 august 2o22 |
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