introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what it was and what we hope it will be waiting for cool - ninteenth of august, 2002 "i been thinkin' of a little place down by the lake. they got a dirty old road leadin' up to the house i wonder how long it would take...til we're alone...sittin' on the front porch of that home...stompin' our feet on the wooden boards...never gotta worry about lockin' the door"~the white stripes i wrote. honest i did. it was this long thing about the ocean and the whole trip and how it was to sleep under the stars with you on that blow up mattress with the only thing between the orange moon and us being lots of salty air and the sounds of night as told by crickets and lapping waves against the dock-deck that was her back yard on the bay side of ocean city. it was all philosophy and metaphor and this deep part about the traffic differences between our small town and the bustling traffic light u turn one way strips of the oceanside seasonal metropolis. and how it took us twenty minutes to go less than five miles and how you hit every green light on fourth avenue as we rolled into town that monday evening. and how i was ready to be home. and how the sea always seems to have just the thing to mend my soul. and then it zapped. so there it was in a nut shell. the important stuff. its like she said: "you might never find those exact words that capture it just right again." and she was probably right. and so the salt water taffy was brought to the office, the traditionalgift from the shore, as i understand it....at least, thats what everyone always brought me. and i hate that shit. i even tried it again just to be sure. and yeah...the sentiment remains completely unchanging. with any luck, i'll remember next time: do not eat the taffy. the post cards were sent. the obligatory lines scripted on each, thoughtful to each recipient...the things i think they'd like to hear. the search for the muskmellons for audrey a complete failure but a vallant effort....and the shrimp boat guy paid for four pounds of shrimp, two for us and two for mom as a gift for watching verbil that extra day...and the shrimps heads thrown in a fit of carnage into the bay for the crabs suck into translucent shells of beings....they were stealing them from the crab trap, anyway. might as well just let them have them and make the best of it. and oh, how strangely shrimp heads float into murky depths. and we all watched in child-like wonder. and i will always remember just how you made those shrimp-bait talk, their whiskers jittering and curling in conversation, their heads bobbing in cajun dialect...you always make me laugh. and its all over with. we've got film to develop and memories of the first summer vacation we have taken together, officially. and then there was that week of cool weather that taunted us with a taste of fall. my mother said, while we were watching the strange pink lightning on friday night, said that she thought summer had been entirely too short this year. but it seems to drag on for me. the heat is suffocating again and this oven of an apartment cools only in those dark cool hours before dawn, if it cools at all. and so we take our showers cold and point fans at our bed and pretend that the indian summers have passed and its time for the leaves to change...because there is nothing like sleeping warmly under that thick comforter, warm and naked and soft...and feeling the cool of the autumn night swirl in the air of our bedroom, making it all smell like leaves and cold. its good to look forward to, anyway. in the meantime, we shall drink our tea iced and sit naked on the porch in the darkness late at night when all of the old people on our street are long gone to sleep. and we shall think cold thoughts. igloos. inuits. icebergs. greenland. hell--walk in coolers. refrigerated trucks. keep it coming...... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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