introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- where i want to be second foggy morning - 19th of November, 2004 "suspended in mid-air...blissfully aware...I'm drifting in a world of where I wanna be..."~k.d. lang been another while, i suppose. after all of these years, i finally broke down and bought the gold membership thing and now i can set this up the way i want...if i can only find some time. work is going great. i find myself getting long with my boss a little more each passing week. perhaps it is because i've gotten so i know pretty much what i'm doing and if i don't make mistakes, she can't be too harsh with me. i'm definitely getting in the swing of things there and on a schedule. my body wakes at four o'clock each morning to reset the alarm for five...get showered, sleep a bit more while Toby gets his shower and we dress together. most mornings, it's silence and no coffee. feed the fish, let out the dog, in the car...radio on but half asleep. by the time we make it to cranberry, we are awake enough to deftly kiss each other a good day. i drop him off at work and drive the 3 minute distance to my job. we work out well this way. by 8am, i am long awake but needing a strong cup of tea to get the morning going. i roll through my day, checking off tasks and making the best of it. no, not making the best of it. i feel like i'm finally doing something. i've gained some of the confidence that was stolen so long ago and i feel like i could do anything. but enough talk about shop, hey. the invitations that i made up were taken to the printers and then went out over a week ago and i've only had a few regrets. i'm excited for tomorrow. we are having everyone we know over for dinner...a thanksgiving bash of sorts. last year we all met up in Indiana and Jess and Nacho did most of the cooking. but nacho was at boot camp all summer and just got back last week...so i took it upon myself to take back the thanksgiving dinner-get-together, if only for this year. and we decided that, with our little bit of new income, we might make it fancy all around. i bought the wine yesterday...four bottles of selected whites...i have a couple bottles of shiraz at home already. we have two turkeys...and a good thing we have two ovens in the house (i've commandeered carl's, downstairs and he gets yummy food smells in exchange). i've got the menu all planned...the last details selected yesterday morning. we'll start with the white wine and fontina-proscuitto-cranberry melts. for dinner, we'll dine on more wine, green bean casserole, scallopped pineapple, mashed yukon gold potatoes, ginger-maple glazed yams, cranberry sauce, cracker dressing, and whatever stuffing toby makes from his homemade croutons. we'll have cranberry orange bread, franklin nut bread, banana bread, and those little sourdough demi hard rolls from panera instead of brown 'n serve. for dessert, i'm making pumpkin pie (to keep it semi-traditional) and attempting a new sweet challenge: an opera cake from scratch. you can read the recipe here: http://splendidtable.publicradio.org/recipes/dessert _opera.shtml. i imagine that will take me the greater part of today to create. i'm excited for the end result. last night we did most of the grocery shopping and i've got more to do this morning. i took the day off today to do a lot of cooking and toby will finish off the cleaning and begin work on these turkeys, marinating them and preparing the herbs with which he'll stuff them tonight when he's home. for now, though, i've got to get to the hospital. *frown* my visit to the doctor for the winter inhalers (i'm avoiding the hassle this year and being all preventative with my new health insurance. Tuna, our cat, is a sweetheart, but damned, i'm allergic to her!) proved to be a good thing. i talked to the doctor about my weight bothering me and how i feel like i'm gaining more when i ought to be losing....sure, after you read the menu for our feast, you might think that we eat that kind of stuff often, but really, we don't...some nights, we forget dinner altogether...but with yoga class and water aerobics, one might expect to be losing something. so the doctor is sending me off for a thousand blood tests and i have to get it drawn this morning...i haven't eaten in 13 hours and i am so thirsty, but i'm not supposed to eat or drink. she thinks there might be something with my ovaries...a problem that i'm a little nervous about. she asked me questions about my ob/gyn and mentioned cysts that he said came and went....yes, i have them. she said the birth control pills he's perscribed should have been his first sign considering how i reacted to them....i'm irate that he seemed to rush and brush me off and there seem to be obvious symptoms here. we shall see. i'm not getting nervous, just frustrated. i started the food diary thing and when it's all said and done, we eat HEALTHY. organic whenever we can....whole foods. not a lot of junk, either...maybe on weekends, but not every weekend. something must be wrong here. that's the last i'll say about it until i know. i don't want to worry about a thing. things are going well, these days. christmas is coming and we're heading to mom's in nashville. his mother calls me and we talk on the phone. she tells me that she loves me. i think i like that...it's a little strange hearing someone else's mother say something like that. i had better get going...get these tests over with and get some friggen' BREAKFAST. xo, girlies and boys. PS: i asked for a digital camera for christmas...and i don't know if i'll get one or not, but i'm crossing my fingers. if i get one, then this could be a totally revamped little diary. until. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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