introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sugarsunday sunday evening - 11 august 2013 "i killed my dinner with karate / kick 'em in the face, taste the body / shallow work is the work that i do."~joanna newsom the sun is setting behind the veil of a late afternoon summer downpour. the rain stopped falling twenty minutes ago but the water continues to drip from the roof onto the empty aluminum garbage can. i love the sound of it. my plants are standing up happily. the birds are coming in, the bats are going out. my house smells of anise and cardamon and sweet potatoes. i slept in again. rather, i was left to sleep in. sean went up the hill to bring back better-maids. we haven't had them since there was snow on the ground, i think. i wonder if the better-maid man thought sean had moved away. donuts have always been a weakness and, in the pre-dawn hours, one can stand on the back deck and imagine oneself in a donut shop waiting for fresh hot donuts and coffee. irresistible. except that i haven't even thought about them literally for months. a slow start. i crave sliced avocado and lime and sea salt. i think of watermelon continuously but can't bring myself to buy another since the other one half went to waste and that isn't something i want to do twice i'm hoping the avocado stays the watermelon thing. i don't know what is up with the food cravings but i have to tell you, donuts haven't really been tops on my list. it turns out that the better-maid man has been trying some new things. all i want is a freaking plain sour cream donut. i don't want frostings. i don't want glazes. i don't want sweetened coconut. i hate it. a donut isn't even worthwhile to me with all that crap on it. but he's doing cinnamon rolls now and he had a left over plain sour cream (an old-fashioned, he called it. sure. call it what you want. call me old fashioned. also, you need to find out what the hold up is on the french crueler batter. you've seriously been unable to obtain it in over a year? that's cray, bro. you need to reconsider your suppliers, man. but anyway...) which he gave to sean as a special bonus donut. amazing. i ate my avocado peaceably enough alongside a toasted bagel. i decided i wanted a tall glass of cold-brew coffee and a plain donut. sean and i split the cinnamon roll. after consuming the better-maids, i made a run for the shower. it was in the shower that things started to get all spinny and fast. i felt like i was moving in slow motion and high speed; cold and clammy but sweating like whoa. it took getting ready, getting to the north side, and walking in the sun (we all know i'm photosensitive, right?) before i realized why i was sweating bullets and ready to hurl. fucking DONUTS. sean had to point it out. i didn't realize he was racing, too. "it was the donuts," he pointed out offhandedly, figuring i'd already solved the case. (i hadn't.) this sick carnival ride in our bellies ceased only after visiting the bike exhibit at the science center, walking back to the casino where we'd parked, playing some free slot play (they reel-y miss me and keep sending me free money or something), and then....when we'd finally made it to the grocery store which is in the ghetto and hey, it's no surprise they weren't carrying juniper berries, hey-o, nothing was touching us until we finally got to the check out, probably. and then we started crashing. absolutely bonkers. i hadn't realized how well we've really been eating this year. virtually everything we eat here is whole food, a few ingredients. i cook. he does dishes. it's a well-oiled machine. tonight, all i want are root vegetables and something that tastes like the earth. i've got a bit of pork belly braising in the oven in a eastern european sauce all cinnamon and cardamon and star anise and garlic and less 3 juniper berries than the recipe called for. this is how we eat now. simply. i've lost so much weight since winter but that trend is slowing expectedly. a month and a half left on this shift. one of those weeks will be vacation and i'm starting to get a handle of bike trails and setting a mileage goal for the week. i need to find a crossfit place down there. i'm making it a point to find the coach from the gym at work to talk to her about adapting the crossfit wods posted on the gym i've been going to to the machines and equipment we have at work--that'd save me about 150$ a month to go towards movers, a storage space. i'm thinking less in amounts and more in terms of each thing i'll need to budget for..i like crossing things off lists more than watching a number go up and up and up. lots of planning to do but i've got one thing sorted out. the way we're eating is probably the one thing that is going right when everything else seems like it's falling apart. i'm proud of my meal planning and cooking and how much i'm learning so fast. i remind myself that i'm meeting the owner of crested duck next week. one more thought to get me through the week. i'm making a list and diving into this. so sorry, better-maid. maybe in the fall with cider and maybe just a half a donut at the most. more likely, i'll find a better way to do it myself that won't cost me an afternoon in sugar-shock. the bike exhibit was smallish and i'd seen a lot of the bikes already at Bicycle Heaven already but i love to look at them. i love to see how they were meant to work and how we just got better and better. those old bikes, though....my robot heart gets real-girl warm to look at them. i've always loved old bikes. so sunday night is rolling in and the bats are out and the twin fawns and their mother are bedding down by the fire pit. it's been a peaceful enough 3 days. i am as ready for this week as i'm going to be. this may be the week to write in the morning. we shall see. there will be writing, even if it isn't here. i'm on a roll and really happy to be back at it, a little bit at a time. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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