introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K

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second impressions and wrongful distractions

after the physical - seventh of march, 2002

"my cunt is built like wound that won't heal so you don't have to ask cuz you know how i feel."~ani difranco

i had that physical today at the nursing home place. do you remember Sketchy? yeah, well, i take that back, i guess.

i got to the nursing home right on time this afternoon for my physical that i have to have before i start. she was in the office and called me right back. it turned out that all of the paperwork i had already filled out was determined to be part of the "old system" and they changed to a "new system" so i needed to fill out more paperwork. strangely, it was virtually all the exact same thing and well, that was a waste of time....but Sketchy, who is really named Kim, was really nice about everything.

i got the job, by the way. i start on the 18th of this month and thats...sort of exciting. i have something to look forward to, you know? it might not be exactly what i saw myself doing and it might not be something i do for very long but i'm trying to keep a positive attitude about the whole thing.

i was a little irritated with Joan, though. Joan was the lady who gave me the shot i needed for the TB test i had to take. i guess in any room full of people, there is someone who is afraid of needles or shots. and i suppose, if you looked at me, naked or otherwise, and saw the tattoos and piercings on my body, you might surmise that i am not that person. oddly enough, i am afraid of shots of things going into my blood system. i would never make a good heroin addict. and so, Joan gave me some bullshit.

"hey, look in there at that room. see that little baby? isn't he a cute baby?"

*POKE. PINCH. MORE POKE.

yeah. she stabbed me with the needle. the only thing i could think was that i am twenty three years old and some woman is trying to distract me from oncoming minimal pain by telling me to look at a baby? and she's a professional? i mean...i'm a grownup, here. i can certainly deal with a shot. i just don't relish the idea of having to get one, is all. i was a little irritated, i guess. i mean. why do nurses always assume that you need distracting? and then, when you're not exactly distracted at all because, jesus!, you KNOW she's gonna give you shot...she thinks she can just jab the old needle right in ya and you won't even notice the difference....what is that?! it always seems a little more painful that way, if you ask me. i think they forget to count the fear factor plus the suprise factor, which, totalled, equals a larger pain factor than if we just let it happen.

but its over. and its sunny. and my brother is coming for dinner today. and i've got a job. and its gonna be about seventy degrees tomorrow before more snow comes again on saturday or sunday and i totally want to go for a hike. there are all of these good things going on and it would be really hard to be down.

and i'm wearing yellow. which...also...makes me...a little happy somehow.

the ghosts are gone. the sun is out. be well.

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.what came before. - .what happened next.

a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017
baseball season to football season, abbreviated - 25 september 2017
the doodles - 11 july 2017
at arm's length - 4 july 2017
like a sea-mammal needs a bicycle - 30 may 2017

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