introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i remember when i was just like you

time flies - 13th of june, 2006

"does that make me crazy?
things.
polyamory. him. her. and i'm madly in love. maybe not madly. maybe sanely.
closure...the plant that i work for. a date fast approaching when i'll only have one day left to wake up to an alarm and get dressed in my business casual clothes and go to my normalish job. so there's a little maddness there...what to do on the day after? and of course, i'm looking for another job half-heartedly.
him...gone to school still and seeing him but not nearly enough.
me, medicated. a few sessions with a shrink and i've got a brain candy cocktail to sip and mellow me the hell out. me, medicated, and still, i look at the moon and swoon. they told me it would take eight weeks for the meds to start working. it's been two days. me, medicated...and it's a damned thing because
armed robbery. a masked man with a gun jumped the counter at my second job at about five minutes to closing time...he told us to get on the floor and i dialed 911 on my phone while he put his gun to the managers head and took him to the safe...and it never occurred to me to get the fuck out when the guy turned his back...what good does it do to watch all of those crime shows if you can't even think straight when the masked gunman jumps the counter? that was four days ago and i'm still clenching my teeth in my sleep

which comes a little less frequently because she insists on setting her alarm even on the weekends and while she thought it was sweet to see my face when her phone started that annoying-as-hell ring and she was sleeping through it, it was not cute to me...and i wanted to kick her because i'm that kind of cranky when i wake up but i didn't...instead, i rolled over when she finally shut it off and willed my gnashed bruised teeth to stop throbbing so i could finally rest....and then there's the commute because i have finally

come home again. i am two blocks down and one block over from the treehouse and i'm content in a house with brightly colored walls, a big back yard that we fenced in ourselves, and vegetables growing in containers on the porch and in the yard. i see this home on the weekends...my weekend home...and live with my parents during the week to continue working at jobs where i am unhappy and counting down days. in front of our house we fly a pirate flag on a street where every other house fliesred, white, and blue stars-and-stripes-forever. my bedroom is two shades of deep purple and my bedspread is crimson. the lamps are gold and the room throbs with romance and sensuality. her room has the best sunsets but we sleep in my bed. eventually, he will come home from school and this will become more difficult but, for now, it's as simple as can be which is a good thing

because my life has gotten to be pretty damned complicated since the last time i wrote here.

magnifika, see also:
http://magnifika.myspace.com
also a blogstream: magnifika

be well.
xo.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

.what came before. - .what happened next.

a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017
baseball season to football season, abbreviated - 25 september 2017
the doodles - 11 july 2017
at arm's length - 4 july 2017
like a sea-mammal needs a bicycle - 30 may 2017