introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- debunking the quarter life crisis lie working day off - first of july, 2003 "but then you've got to have yourself an alternate plan."~ani difranco so i'm working. it was supposed to be a day off but then, the expecting boss went into labor yesterday and the other boss didn't want to give up her day off, so here i am: working. and its miserable because there is virtually no work...only the quest for the recent users of a particular brand of sugar free fudge dipped vanilla wafer cookie. only...nobody but diabetics use these cookies and most are a thousand and don't want to do the survey to begin with. *doublesigh* i talked to el headhuntoro this morning and apparently, the county has put a freeze on hiring all of a sudden...and the other job made a hiring decision without even interviewing me because of the phone tag and the misfire of communication on *his* part...and i'm bummed about it but he assures me that we will find something or that the freeze will be lifted soon...and its depressing and i want to cry but... but its like we were saying last week in the car on the way home from dinner...we're turning twenty five this year and, strangely, unlike those who went before us, we're not feeling this alleged quarter life crisis that everyone's been raving about...and its just starting to seem like a big excuse. because i don't regret going on the interviews or the stress i put into all of it or the time or the wasted work-hours that i could've been wasting away in my real job. and i don't regret the mary tyler moore-daydreams or the blisters on my feet from shoes too fancy for my feet. because its like all of the other things we've done and all of the other trials that we brought up....we learned from them. and i learned from this: i learned that i'm qualified for employment at something better...for something more substantial. i'm better than this. and i learned that i'm a lot more confident than i let on sometimes. so how can we call this a crisis if we're learning? how can i honestly say that i'm falling apart (even though it may seem so on the surface) if i'm making changes in myself and in the way i view the world? how can i cry that i'm amounting to nothing if i keep proving to myself that i can be something? all in all, i think this quarter life crisis thing is a big lie they're telling us...another excuse they're feeding us to feel depressed and consume more pills and buy more stuff to sedate our depression...and i think that a lot of people are eating it up because they can't justify their own emotions and lack of learning and movement. so i'm trying to look on the better side of all of this...and not ruling out the quest for a better job...not ruling out striking out on my own. in other news, brian's birthday is this week and i have to give him a birthday shout out: happy birthday and may the quarter life crisis never find you and may this year be one of happiness and good luck and stuff. (i am losing my eloquence.) its gonna be a good weekend and i'm putting the rest of this aside...here i am talking about weekends and its only tuesday...but i've got most of this week off to lounge about and i intend to enjoy it...the people, the parties, the good times and good company. and i'm not regretting a thing. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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