introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K

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mornings come too soon

monday morning, 2days left. - twenty seventh of august

"we live in a beautiful world."

He finally came up for a second visit. Every time I'm with him...more and more surreal and beautiful. Beautiful. Like how he looks when he is sleeping. He is sleeping now, in my brothers room between hunter green sheets and under a cream coloured bedspread in the bed under the two big windows. That room used to be mine. That room was mine before I left that first time. That room was mine before the walls were painted that dark evergreen and sponged with the gold leafing.

(my mother has such impeccable taste.)

He makes every moment beautiful like gold leafing and breathes me full of memory, even when he is asleep.

-while you were asleep-

i don't want to sleep

any more nights like this,

nervous because someone might find us,

nervous because we're being disrespectful

because i really don't think we are...

how can it be disrespect when

its the purest thing i've evern known?

and you made these days

as gorgeous as the woods in which we spent them-

you made every moment

more real than the next.

and sometimes, i look at you

and its hard to believe you are real...

so tall, so deliciously lovely

in the light of campfire

or the glow of the light in the pool.

its hard to believe you are real,

forcing my locked up voice

to speak the truths in my head...

in my heart.

and you don't know...

you can't possibly know...

what it is to love you like this.

you can't comprehend

what it is

to watch you sleeping and feel the overwhelming warmth.

you can never know how much i love you,

there simply are no words.

and driving

north to south

south to north

wheels rolling miles of pavement

behind us

and you singing and

me singing, too...

thats our love on the wind.

and i want so badly to wake you

but i want so badly to watch you sleep

and i want so badly to be sleeping next to you

that my heart is breaking with it,

breaking with the distance we'll put back between us

in the morning...

breaking with the miles.

my heart is wrenching with the days

til next i see your face

hear your voice

hear you breathe

watch you sleep.

watch you sleep...

i think so much when i watch you sleep.

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.what came before. - .what happened next.

a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017
baseball season to football season, abbreviated - 25 september 2017
the doodles - 11 july 2017
at arm's length - 4 july 2017
like a sea-mammal needs a bicycle - 30 may 2017

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