introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- jones' travels two thirty a.m. - 5 september 2014 "her remains were spread out like the pieces of a puzzle. it took her three hundred and sixty five days putting them together. the pieces were quite difficult to distinguish from each other. they were tiny and the clear blue sky went on forever."~ane brun it is quiet and autumn-cool tonight in bangor, guys. tonight, while i killed time waiting for someone to finish downloading itunes software on their computer (why can't anyone figure this out for themselves in 2o14?) i saw on facebook that tom was at the ox hill fair. stromboli. hillbilly music. i am so homesick this week it hurts. my travels to pittsburgh for a week before the beach are cancelled...mainly due to needing to be at work. i'm still going home but only for an evening...i'm going to be exhausted from that drive, i'm sure...only to get back in the car and drive to the beach. i'm going to listen to so much Game of Thrones and also probably destroy my whole audiobook library in a handful of days. and all that music....but i'm homesick for my people in a way that was so visceral this week. this weekend, i'm heading to vermont to see dennis and amy. up before dawn saturday morning...i think this calls for a smallish coffee, right? i learned my lesson (mostly) on that trip to get rachel. don't get the extra espresso. oh, regret... in the morning, i'm going to strip the blueberry bushes of the remaining berries to share with the people i will manage to see...for dennis and amy, for my aunt. i'll put some more up in the freezer. antioxidants, guys. pregnant ladies love them. i've got a chiropractor appointment in the afternoon and then work and then packing up the car and then on the road. i don't know that i've ever been to vermont--or did we cut through on that alternate route back in may? maybe i drove through a corner of it. i've only met one of dennis' and amy's two daughters. four years is a long time and before that, it was even more years. i'm packing my magic cards and know that he probably still has that old vampire card...and i think back to all those winter nights with the indy radio playing in that cramped little cozy cabin in the middle of a christmas tree farm. i think i knew during those nights huddled around a coffee table, slightly allergic to a cat...i knew then that they were the kind of people with whom i'd cross paths for the rest of my life. i'm looking forward to meeting their girls. i'm told we might go to the rutland town fair which would be just the thing. i wonder if they have a ring toss where i can win a knife? probably not. that's probably only something that happens in places like indy, pa and heaven. i might drive a little further and spend a few hours in upstate new york but we shall see. it occurs to me that i've been messaging this fella for an entire summer. swapping pictures here and there and saying goodnight to someone most nights...it has made me happy for a lot of weeks when not much has managed to except for company and trips out of town and being in those woods. that kind of happy. so. we'll see. "we can do this. it won't be awkward at all." my robot heart is on the fritz but i'm still practical, realistic...as much as i can manage, anyway. it won't be awkward, i'm sure of it. we can do this. my eating this week has been good and i'm down a few pounds already. my ankles are still swelling but i'm just acquiescing for now...i know it isn't because of what i'm eating. so many fresh vegetables have been gifted to me or brought home from the farmer's market... rainbow chard, cabbage. i put that and a new coleslaw recipe with that slow-roasted pulled pork. my sweet was yogurt with dark chocolate and slivered honey almonds...i could do way worse. a week ago, a picture of a donut would have made me crave donuts (thanks you, all those simpson's episodes.) this week, the thought of a donut doesn't mean much...my body is already adjusting to the lack of sugars again and i feel better in that regard. i have three avocados in the fridge after taking a little break. i'm back to craving green things again. i should've gotten that donut when it sounded good, probably. i've started brewing kombucha in the kitchen. i have a gallon glass cracker jar that has been fermenting for about 4 days. i've got schemes for flavoring them with a second fermentation and bottling them. i got some swing-top glass bottles. flavors like ginger/blueberry and plum/raspberry and apple/cardamon. i'm getting less worried about botulism and more fascinated with the entire process. i remember when i grew brussels sprouts for the first time. liza had picked up a sad pack of mystery vegetables for a cheap price at a greenhouse and we put them in the ground in that little garden my neighbors and i shared. i spent that entire summer weeding out chickweed and protecting our vegetables from being taken over by a yard that was determined to reclaim what i'd spent and afternoon tilling that same spring. i was intrigued with whatever was sprouting up. when you watch a brussels sprout plant grow but don't know that's what you're watching, it is a very curious plant. since i have no idea what to expect with this fermentation, i keep telling the SCOBY that she is the brussels sprout plant of the kitchen. talking to something makes it ferment better, right? i don't think that is a scientific fact. it made sense to me to want to see all of the loves of my life this month...to see them one last time before everything changes forever. i think i can pull off a weekend trip if i play my flexes right and i could see them, even for an afternoon. it might be just the thing. i've got to figure something out because i am so lonesome for so many people. i know i still need to give this place more time. this week was the first time in a long time that i thought about abandoning this and going home....but i still wake up amazed that i get to live here. i'm homesick but i need to remember why i'm here. this is a beautiful place to get to be every single day and i'm thankful. i'll eventually wrangle a plan to get home...i always figure something out. xo, jones ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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