introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unobjective ramblings that pretend to be something they're not too late to get out - first of march, 2002 "would you like some dog coffee? it is all that we've got. you can have some or you can have not."~ani difranco so this morning's alarm came and went all mazzy star and volume that i thought would wake us both up. but its like i said yesterday, its this dark cave effect that our bedroom has over me now....and i can't seem to want to wake up. we woke, instead, an hour and a half later to the phone ringing and his sister calling. she always seems to know when she wakes me up and still, i try to make like i've been up for at least an hour. i don't understand a lot of things that happen. for instance, why is it that the head of lettuce that i got at the big bird that cost more than any head of lettuce i have ever bought stayed fresh and crisp and green for like...a month...and the one that i got a week ago at the shopnsave for just a few pennies less was half rotten when i went to make a salad that i've been craving for a few days today? what makes one head of lettuce last longer? i am forever perplexed with such ridiculous lines of thought as this. and so on. and so, rather than take the chix patties out of the oven, i talked toby into eating one of them and some macncheese rather than his originally planned granola breakfast. its strange that these things matter to me...and that i was upset about rotten lettuce....its just that...wasting food seems like this huge crime in financial times such as mine are now. after we ate, i went down to the mailbox and checked to see if the MeanRottenMailMan had come yet. he had and i brought the friday circulars up, wondering for the zillionth time this week where the bills are. surely they should be here by now. more perplexion. ordinarily, i'm not that gungho about checking the mail, though...unless i know a check or package is coming. i spent years living with my family always hoping i'd get so much as a free magazine or anything with my name on it....something addressed to....me. that novelty has long worn off. but, i find myself checking the mail often these days...for different reasons. i suppose dogs and mailmen have never been a pair to get along well. i imagine that somewhere out there, there are mailmen who like dogs and dogs who, in turn, like mailmen. i wish it were so much the case here, in coraopolis. our mailmen hates dogs. and now, i'm pretty sure that i hate the mailman. allow me to elaborate. i live in the second floor of the house that toby and i share. the downstairs used to be a separate apartment but now, the el landlordo rents the whole thing as one unit. rad for us because we get the whole front yard, the covered porch, and all the benefits that come with not having to share a wall or floor or ceiling with other dwellers. we come and go as we please and we make as much noise as we like...and trust me, i can make a lot of noise. i digress. nobody lives downstairs and there isn't any power down there yet but there will be soon. and then, we'll fix it up and it'll be all studio/getaway/party floor and insert lofty visions of decorating and goings on here. now. the mailboxes are outside of the door downstairs. we have this little concrete walk that goes along one side of the house to the roadish alley behind our pad and in front, an expanse of lush, green yard in which people and puppy alike might play and be merry. though our address is ajacent to the houses more "in front" of ours, its probably actually easier to deliver mail from the back, which, we were to find out later, is exactly the case. most of the houses on our street have big back yards fenced in and very tiny front yards. i rather enjoy the big front yard and the surrounding fences of our yard. when we let our pup out to do her business, we don't have to go down to the yard with her. usually, toby lets her out when he smokes a cigarette or i let her out in the morning when i feed the birds. she comes when we call her...well, mostly...sometimes we have to yell for her...but like i said...big yard. one morning/afternoon, we woke up a bit late and i was jumpin' in the shower and toby let verbil out and was following her to have a cigarette when we heard the loud cries and profanities of a mailman in danger. it turned out that as we unknowingly let verbil down to burn the grass with her urine, the mailman was sneaking around the corner to put mail in our box. verbil, not knowing who he was and, i suspect, much in the way the Terminator files and terms his enemies, verbil decided that he was an invader, which, in a sense, i suppose he was. she barked and he ran. she barked and chased him. he yelled and swore. "get that fucking dog back!" wow. so that was our first run-in with the mailman. i understand where he was coming from, having been attacked by another dog, he associates all things dog with that...but that isn't fair. i know that a lot of fuss has been made about dogs and attacks, especially after that dog in california killed that woman. but not all dogs are bad and i maintain this. i'm trying to be philosophical here and see both sides. i admit, i tend to be partial to my dog and blind to the way she acts at times, but in this case, i think i'm being very objective. *side one: the dog* the mailman is in our yard. only toby and carole and i live here and those pesky cats she feeds and the birds are allowed to be here. sometimes, their friends come over and they always tell me its okay and then, its all good. otherwise, i've got to protect my people. *growl* *side two: the mailman* *sneakysneakysneaky* "i'll just sneak around when i get to the next street and save a little time." whoa. dog. *flashback of gnawing and biting* *** obviously, the mailman is a monster. right? maybe not...but he's a jerk. this much was proven today, when i was outside with my dog. i checked the mail to see if he'd been there before i let pup down to play with me. he'd been, and so, i let her out. while we were playing a rowdy game of "fetch the blue nubby circle toy and bring it to me so i can throw it halfway up the yard", the mailman went trapsing across the front of our yard (note: NOT ON THE SIDEWALK) and so, my dog, diverted from said rowdy game, lept like the housecats she longs to be to the front of the yard, barking with her back hair raised like teen wolf. she stopped at the edge of the yard as he backed up to the sidewalk. i ran over and called her. twice, admittedly, but she came. the mailman, as i've come to expect, proclaimed explitives and profanity and blame. "get that fucking dog back!" "i'm so sorry! we've been checking the mail to see if you've been here before we let her out...i didn't know you were still on the other street...verbil, get over here!" "she's supposed to be on a leash! get her back!" "but she's on our property and she hasn't left it!" "it doesn't matter, she's supposed to be on a leash. maybe you just won't get your mail anymore!" "thats fine. i'll call the postmaster!" "mumblemumblemumblesomedumbasspostmanshit" GRRRRR! i imediately came in, plucked and breathless, half shocked at the spine i had in dealing with confrontation and half embarassed that i had stooped to the level of argument with a POSTMAN. i called a few numbers and i'm right. she doesn't need to be on a leash on our property. and, furthermore, if the dog isn't out when the postman comes, he is required to deliver our mail. i'm still trying to be objective. but as it stands, i hate the postman. in other news, my brother comes home from penn state today. we were supposed to pick him up at the greyhound but plans are shifted and rearranged faster than tektonic plates and now my mother is going. i was kind of looking forward to picking him up because i don't know when else i might see him and it just be us. also, the lady from the health center called me today and i have an appointment for the afformentioned physical to which i must submit prior to employment. so i guess thats a wierd way of saying that i got the job. for that, i'm glad. no more worry....just optomism. i'm still gonna go over to that factory that makes the windows and apply cuz its more money and overtime. what? more factory work? yeah, i guess so. we shall see. until all....and remember....not all dogs are mean. some are actually cute. and not all postmen are nice. some are actually monsters. be well. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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