introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- caught. a week later - 15 november 2009 "the trap i set for you seems to have caught my leg instead."~mewithoutYou i think i've figured out who you are. funny, so soon after having been charmed, i've been caught in another spider's web. charming. why so many charming men these days? and i'll admit it...i like being swept off my feet but at what cost? and so now, a week later...and all i can think is that i knew the second you started telling me about how you always go for the nerdy quiet girl; how you have a thing for nephthys, isis' sister. in so many words, you stole from me the chance to be isis herself--and i'd never wanted it until you told me i couldn't. in so many words. i am every nerdy girl...every lonely girl...every girl that goes to sleep lonely...every girl whose thoughts are full of hope and who has so much love to give. take us. take us each on our own as i suspect you do. what you (nor i) had any way of knowing is this: i've learned a lot in a week...a week without you telling me you miss me or that we've met before. that dynamic is gone but here i am...content to play the other woman if you'll let me. i want my autonomy and to be dominated at once...i will make myself available and i will make things right. i've scrubbed and cleaned because i imagine you coming to visit and wanting to please you. i like this way of thinking, even if i hear the sighs of so many suffragettes every time i entertain the thoughts. what you probably didn't expect was this: you've created a submissive little monster. here she is...waiting. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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