introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the candlelight-porch chair discussions when nobody's there but us - twentieth of june, 2002 "the one person that really knows me best says i'm like a cat. not the kind of cat you can just pick up and throw into your lap."~ani difranco there are only a handfull of people i would really say know me in a general knowing a person sort of way. just generally. there are still fewer who truly know me well enough to tell me when i'm wrong. there are two...perhaps three...who know me well enough to tell me the things i already know about myself because they know me well enough to know that i need to hear them from someone else. and i want you to know that you're one of those three. and its not as though we ever planned it to be this way, i know. its just that...when i call you up and invite you to dinner and its just you and me and some spaghetti and chicken and i ask you to bring the bread, i know you will come. and i know you'll bring the bread. and the chemistry of conversation. and i love that. because this is a mutual thing, what we've got going here. its balance. its equilibrium. so i guess what i'm trying to tell you, here, is this: when you tell me you're worried about me, i believe you. and i listen, even if you don't realize it....i respect what you've got to say more than i respect most people i hear. and when you make me laugh, you make me laugh from the core...the purest laughter i know. and there are only two or three people that can make me laugh like you....but none of them are you. and i know that we've both got our own loves now, to which nobody is allowed to compare. i know that you've got your jonathon and i've my toby but i know that, on nights when we've got no plans or company, we always manage to find a few hours for each other. and we've got laughter. and cups of coffee. and talking. and more laughing. and more talking. and then, the best part--the hug at the end of the night. nobody ever hugged me in such genuine comradery as you. so i guess it comes down to this: you are the best friend a girl could ask for and there aren't words to express my gratitude. and furthermore, i don't know what i'd do without you. and even with the jonathons and the tobys in our lives, now, and the jobs and the grown-uppish lives we're leading now, i just want you to know that you will always be my friend, my chum, my kindred spirit. i just wanted you to know..... in case you weren't sure and just so you don't ever forget. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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