introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- boringest girl mondaynightshhh - 27 august 2013 "i don't know when i first got this way. i think that I used to be someone with something to say, but for the first time in my life, i feel more lonely than anything"~endless mike & the beagle club it's been a few days, eh? yes, yes. here to the end of the year is so busy. so so busy. i'm bracing myself. calling the helpful lady at medco or medexpress or whatever they were or are or whatever they keep telling me about on their ivrs...she wished me a happy birthday. sending allergy meds. so far, so good. 4 weeks from now, i will be at the beach. there is nothing else. seriously. there is the beach and there are all the hours in between. come on, america. call me up. i'll fix you up. i'm here for you. good news: that stressful action-plan thing over my head got pulled. i've met the goals i said i would six months ago and bam, done. whatever. whew. close call. so. i'm on the straight and narrow, guys. i'm doing okay. i just. i just need you all to be a little nicer. i promise. i'm gonna fix your shit. trust me. please. please? i just need to get through the hours between now....and the beach. beeeeeeaaaaaaaach. this weekend, mark & elan came for dinner--my usual gift to my friend on his birthday. i took a lot of care in choosing new recipes. i was pretty happy with the turnout. as a special treat, i ran up to Crested Duck to pick up duck fat ice cream with caramel & sea salt. one bite was heaven. two bites was delightful. two bites. that's all you even need. i went to that meet the owner yelp event last week. i've been to the Crested Duck deli location before and was impressed but i have to tell you guys, i'm over the moon. this is the kind of business i want to have. i'm looking forward to taking the butcher class up there this fall even more now. they had a nice demo and a tour of the place and a small plate of charcuterie. the care, the love...i feel like that has to be the biggest part of whatever we end up doing. so many ideas. so many lists of possibility. my red moleskin book is still filling up with ideas. there is a way to do this. i really believe we can do this. i just need to get there. so the portland/seattle trip is in the works. waiting on our vacation bid but planning for april. if things are going to keep going the way they are--did i mention i'm at about 82 perfect surveys...a streak...100 looms on the horizon. months of work--if things are to keep going as they are and i'm to be able to keep doing this job, i need another escape plan to look forward to or it's curtains, hey? this weekend will take me to indy for a day of it. birthday tractor pull, a few hours at the brown hotel to listen to endless mike & tbc play. i think i thought i'd never get to hear them play again so i'm excited to get to go. to get some bob's. to get a hug from ashley. to see tom coleman. to learn something new from jason. i don't know if nick will be there. all four of us in one place? it's so weird to try to get that together...but when it does happen, my heart is glad. oh, indiana. a whole day there. maybe some custard. maybe a bike ride. just a day. i can't stay longer than that. i can't. it feels so small. i see it for what it is now. my roots are deep there and it feels more like home than anyplace but when i left, it was mountain goats style and i will never again belong to that town. oh, no. but i do love that fucking custard. so this weekend, then. look forward to that. it's all i can think about. well....that and the strawberry rhubarb yoghurt i found. i've been about ready to try making my own straight up rhubarb for forever so it's probably time. if i can't replicate it, i'm going to have to go back to england. my passport has a few years left. so mostly the beach and yoghurt, guys. i'm pretty boring right now. building my own pancakes at denny's and overtime. story of my life. anything bad that comes along doesn't stick. i am retracting my fight and flowing towards those eleven days. like water. like the freaking colorado river, guys. seriously. okay. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
||||||
|
||||||