introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- reality orientation dropping into bed - twenty third of march, 2002 "i can't get no sleep. i need sleep. i can't get no sleep."~faithless no, really i haven't forgotten to write. i started my new job at the nursing home on monday. i love it. i hate it. i spent a good bit of time the first real day crying when i got home. but i'm getting used to it. fitting in, even. its strange. how i never thought i'd ever do anything like this. and here i am. loving it. smiling. and not even smiling those nervous obligatory smiles, either. i'm talking smiling genuine smiles at old folks. there's so much to learn and i feel like my head is getting a nice break from the boredom and atrophy (atrophe?) of the mundane. i guess the next thing to tackle is gonna have to be some serious weight loss because i'm the biggest i've ever been in my life. and it grosses me out...real bad like. three months of depression and shiftlessness have rendered me the jolly pink giant. something about how the sun glistened on the sparkling pure snowdrifts got me thinking about sunshine summertime. and golden skin. catching the suns warmth at a concert. breathing summer crisp air. and blonde streaks in my hair. and how i want to be healthy and gorgeous. and furthermore, i think a lot of my feeling like i might just be able to do this again....had a lot to do with the weeks sights. two words. pureed food. (god, i hope i keep my teeth.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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