introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K



14:14:00 - 2000-11-02

i don't know how I'm supposed to feel here, yet...

when she called to tell me,

it certainly didn't seem real...

and I'm crying on and off,

but I feel like I should be crying more than this...

and I don't want this to be one of those cheesy poems

that somebody always writes...

not like those,

because you're more than that,

you're more to us than that.

when I hung up the phone,

there was this silence in the air

that was too loud to handle,

this pressure where there was only calm moments before..

and i'm here by myself wondering what the hell I can do

to make it so it isn't so...

it isn't so.

I don't know what I can do to make it go away,

so I'm writing something you'll never get to see,

i'm writing so that I can remember...

I just turned on some Counting Crows,

and I turned it up so loud

cuz Adam always has some good advice and

relates most to my feelings....

and I listen to the same songs over and over

because listening is all I can do now....

like you always listened to me when I spoke.

It is everything,

its your smile, the way you walked...

the way you could hug me so I couldn't help but smile....

the way you could see beauty in almost everything,

the way you laughed.

I can't sit still,

cuz sitting is making me think too much....

I'm so angry and confused

because I don't want to believe its for real...

I can't believe its real just yet....

all I can do is remember.


.what came before. - .what happened next.

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the doodles - 11 july 2017
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like a sea-mammal needs a bicycle - 30 may 2017

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