introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game Room 16:29:44 - 2000-11-27 Man. I must've been smitten. This one was called Game Room and I read it first at the Free Zone last spring. Game Room I've been brawling with my rubix cube of emotions, sorting out the sides of me that got all confused and refuse to return to regular order. I play hopskotch with words, jumping into the chalked grid of things I want to say and the things I simply cannot say to you but the chalk is scuffed from too many vaults and I'm fretful that you're taking offense or reading me wrong. When I'm not skipping pebbles across the concrete sidewalk of our conversations, I'm at home, playing an intense game of Risk, fortifying my boundries with walls with no windows. I've taken to playing so often that I sometimes find it hard to recall what the outside looked like. I think that if I had ever been any good at Memory, well, I'd remember under which card you were hiding and I would match you up with mine and we might be a pair. Or maybe you'd like it better if we played some charades, where I pretend that you came over to see me and we have dinner and play some cards? But see, I'm only any good at Solitaire and a poker face is useless when you're playing house by yourself. Its a ring around the rosie, its the six degrees of kevin bacon, its a high ho cherry o its egyptian ratskrew, its gin rummy, its BULLSHIT. its me trying to duck duck goose you into something a little more substantial than london bridges. I'm trying to hide and hoping you'll come seeking with an 'ollie ollie all come free' but it only gets dark and cold and damp and its time to go inside. So, to fill in the hours, I concentrate on staying in the lines in my colouring books and I mindlessly fiddle with an etchasketch to keep my mind off of the pile of uno cards JUST SITTING THERE seemingly staring at me like you do sometimes, and I try not to dwell too much on how y ou can't play uno WITHOUT TWO PEOPLE...... WhaT a contradiction!! I slam my colouring book closed because you've been pressing a little too hard on my crayons. I try to focus on the clues of the crossword puzzle that we have become, with your 1 down and my 4 across, I wonder if we'd share a vowel? a. e. I? oh. ooooooooooooooooooh. or maybe its you? I don't know but I've got a lot to share here and I've been more than willing to let you into my toy box. Its like a summoning sickness on a creature card when I call you up to make some time and you're always too busy doing whatever it is you REALLY do when you tell me you're too busy. And every time you hang up, I try to find the hidden picture, but the big picture won't stand still for two fucking minutes so I'm calling to complain to those punks at Highlights because I don't think that there really is a boy in the picture.... there was a girl, but I crossed her out last spring and for MILTON BRADLEY's SAKE!! I've been looking for year now, I think I'dve found him by now!! I'm putting all of my dominoes on the kitchen table setting them up and knocking them down... quickly, quickly, before you get a chance to see that I've sold the property on Boardwalk beacuse there is NO WAY in HELL that there is room enough for both of us. And goddammit, I'm getting sick of all my games. Can I PLEASE come play some of yours? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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