introspective periscope : peeking inside since Y2K ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i wish it would stop raining heavy raindrops hanging mist - thirtieth of april, 2002 "{insert some soupy muddy jazzy tune here...sort of starbuckish and just...movie coffee house style}"~some brilliant jazz musician with a knack for coffee house tunes its the end of april, already. as in: where the hell is the warmth? the rain keeps coming but with this chill, i find it almost impossible to believe that may flowers will indeed come. just because its always been like that before should, by no means, philosophically speaking, insinuate that things will be like that again. put simply, just because the flowers have come every other spring before this doesn't mean that they'll come this year. maybe we're doomed to perpetual cold april. we shall see. my thoughts have been strange and wandering on levels mingling with ordinary and organized. i have this and that to take care of before whatever time and, as i complete the tasks of the mundane, my mind wanders aimlessly to vortex pools of complicated complexity. strands of finished hemp twist and knot into spiral cords; my fingers wear and callus. i have made nearly forty one hemp necklaces, beaded and boned, shelled and gemmed. wood beads. glass beads. slices of shell. tiny plastic glittery stars and pewter charms. handfulls of necklaces, thin and thick, to sell (with any luck) this weekend at the concerts. heck, it worked before. and i wasn't even good at it before. then, it was fimo clay beads baked in my oven and square knots or spirals. now, its well thought out compositions of well woven lace and various adornments. and there are so many things left to do before we leave. there are loads of laundry to finish, windows to lock, rooms to clean, dishes to do. a feeling of purposefullness is returning slowly with mundane tasks at hand. and a job interview to come when we come back from nashville with a market research company. but there are no horns tooting yet. we shall see. why does nothing seem substantial? blah. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .what came before. - .what happened next. a diamond at the bottom of the drain - 20 october 2017 |
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